Nollywood veteran Dupe Jayesimi has revealed her decades-long struggle with childlessness and the painful dissolution of her marriage in a candid, emotional interview that has resonated with fans across Nigeria. Speaking with actress Biola Bayo on the popular “Talk to B” podcast, Jayesimi opened up about her reproductive challenges, failed marriage, and the profound emotional toll both experiences have taken on her life.
The respected Yoruba actress, now 60, shared the devastating moment when doctors discovered her pregnancy was ectopic, with the fetus developing at the back of her womb rather than in the uterine cavity.
“When I was pregnant, I was happy,” Jayesimi recounted. It was later the doctors observed that the baby was at the back of my womb. It was like I should get swallowed by the ground.”
This traumatic medical crisis occurred when Jayesimi was approximately 40 years old, a time when many women already face decreased fertility. The actress admitted questioning her faith during this period, wondering why she faced such reproductive challenges despite her desires for motherhood.
Jayesimi’s marriage deteriorated alongside her fertility struggles. She revealed that following an early miscarriage, her husband began using a pillow as a physical barrier between them in bed, symbolically and literally separating himself from her.
Whenever my husband and I wanted to sleep, he would use a pillow to demarcate the bed so our bodies wouldn’t touch,” she explained, the pain still evident in her voice.
The final blow to the marriage came when her husband moved on remarkably quickly after their separation. Two weeks after I left my husband’s house, he had a new wife come in immediately with pregnancy,” Jayesimi revealed. “I cried. I am not an alcoholic person, but because of that, I did turn into a drunkard.”
The actress described how this experience led her to temporary alcoholism and a determination never to remarry. She also disclosed undergoing two unsuccessful in vitro fertilization (IVF) attempts, which further complicated her health. It got to a stage where I used to see a drop of blood every evening,” she said regarding the physical toll of these fertility treatments.
Despite these hardships, Jayesimi found purpose in nurturing other children throughout her life. She became a surrogate mother figure to many, including her younger sister’s children and others in her community. However, this generosity of spirit hasn’t been reciprocated in her later years.
“So many children that I have taken good care of don’t even look back to check on me,” Jayesimi lamented. “Is it my younger sister’s kid, or name them? For now, I have no other job than theatre, and it isn’t paying like before.”
The actress’s mother had encouraged her to consider adoption, promising to support both Jayesimi and any adopted child. “My mum refused and said I should adopt any child, that she would feed the child till death,” Jayesimi recalled. However, for reasons not elaborated in the interview, this alternative path to motherhood wasn’t pursued.
At 60, Jayesimi reflects on never experiencing the joy of being celebrated by biological children. “I know how it is to be celebrated by your own kids. I haven’t seen anyone to celebrate me before,” she said, touching on the cultural significance of children caring for their parents in Nigerian society.
The actress also revealed that her professional opportunities have dwindled in recent years. It has been seven years since I worked last,” she admitted, highlighting the financial precariousness that compounds her personal challenges.
Jayesimi’s story illuminates the often-silent suffering of women dealing with infertility in societies where motherhood is deeply intertwined with female identity and social status. In many African cultures, including Nigeria’s, a woman’s worth is still frequently measured by her ability to bear children, making infertility not just a medical issue but a social and cultural challenge.
Despite everything, Jayesimi maintains a thread of hope. “I believe that no one will ever die and get dropped on the roadside,” she said, addressing societal judgments about childless women. “And they say it’s because she didn’t give birth. If there’s still life, there’s always hope.”
Her story has prompted discussions about the need for greater support systems for women experiencing infertility and the importance of redefining womanhood beyond reproductive capacity. Mental health professionals have noted that infertility often comes with significant psychological distress, particularly in cultural contexts where motherhood is highly valued.
Jayesimi’s willingness to share her personal struggles has been praised by fans and fellow actors as an act of courage that may help others facing similar challenges feel less alone. Her testimony also highlights the unique vulnerabilities of aging entertainers in Nigeria’s film industry, where consistent work can become scarce as actors grow older.
As Jayesimi continues to navigate life’s challenges at 60, her story serves as a poignant reminder of the complex interplay between personal dreams, cultural expectations, and life’s unpredictable nature. Through her candid revelations, she has transformed her private pain into a public conversation about resilience, worth, and finding meaning beyond conventional definitions of family and success.
